I consider her one of the best songwriters Of Our Time and I will gladly sit over a glass of a Joy Thief’s favorite organic, sulfite-free wine and annotate the narrative arc of the teenage love triangle presented on the “Folklore” album. Yes, I am going! Yes, I spent a lot of money on a ticket! No, I do not consider Taylor Swift a guilty pleasure.
These concerts constitute regional news in the tenor of “major weather event” or “Super Bowl,” like it or not. Because Taylor Swift will perform three concerts in Tampa in a matter of days, her only Eras tour stop in Florida. Now, why are we talking about this? You know why. A Joy Thief just wants you to know your music is bad! A Joy Thief exists solely to be a huge bummer. This is different from, say, a critic who dissects art in a thoughtful, contextual way or an activist who calls out actual wrongdoing.
No, a Joy Thief must step in to correct their victim. Favorite phrases include “ACTUALLY” and “WHO CARES.” They can be found in the comments section once this column is posted on Facebook.Ī Joy Thief cannot simply register something that doesn’t personally interest them and head on down the old, dusty trail. Their love language is sarcasm, their superpower, capital letters. They will tell you about the sodium nitrite levels in your cheeseburger as said cheeseburger is entering your mouth. Joy Thieves can be found on first dates monopolizing the conversation with details about their tour of foreign eco-hostels mere moments after you say you really love living in your hometown.
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